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The Sound OFF with Corey - Episode 3: What Tissues are right for your Issues?

Kleenex is re-branding its "Mansize" tissues, but why will blow your mind.

Hello Canada,

You know… We used to ask derogatively to people who overreacted to and blew issues way out of proportion, if they wanted some tissues for their issues? But did you know that in this bizzare new snowflake world that we now live in, you now need to be careful about what tissues you hand to these people.

Why?... Because if you hand them the most popular tissue in the U.K., one that over 3.4 million people buy a year, the Kleenex “Mansize” tissue. Not even that x-large tissue is soft enough to comfort them or strong enough to wipe away and hold all the tears that are sure to follow. As they react to how unjust it is to assign a gender to tissues, or any inanimate object really.  

That’s right Kleenex is now rebranding their “Mansize” tissue despite its overwhelming success on the market, so as not to offend those who believe assigning a gender to tissues is wrong, and because those on the left, instead of using their influence and focusing their outrage to make a real difference in the world, need everyone to know that the product is such a violation of their safe-space that they literally can’t survive in a world where it exists. Because not only is it an absolute moral outrage that an inanimate object should be assigned a gender and thus have its rights to decide for itself the gender it wishes to identity violated. But because these tissues are declared by the left to suggest that women are not equal enough to deserve x-large tissues in society.

And of course, instead of Kleenex responding appropriately to these people by asking, do you need some issues for your tissues? We even have “Mansize” tissues.

The company who makes the tissues, Kimberly-Clark, capitulated. As the insanity and outrage on the left grows with every box of “Mansize” tissues labelled “comfortingly soft” and “confidently strong”, because instead of thinking for themselves, they assume, despite what they say about assumptions, that what they believe, namely that these boxes declare that only Men can be “comfortingly soft” and “confidently strong”, is true.

Despite the fact that as any free and clear-thinking person knows, Kleenex is not selling masculinity in these boxes, but rather are stating that what they are selling in these boxes are x-large comfortingly soft and confidently strong tissues.

Yet, of course does logic, common sense, and the 3.4 million people who enjoy purchasing the Kleenex “Mansize” tissues prevail in the face of this insanity. No of course not.

As always, if you disagree with the left that to label inanimate objects with a gender is not only a crime against humanity but a crime against the inanimate objects’ right to decide its own gender, or that describing a product you want to sell to men, as being for men and marketing the product in such a way that men will want to buy it, is a crime against women that keeps them oppressed, barefoot, and pregnant in the kitchen. Despite the fact that women now, more than any other time in world history, not only have the freedom and the access, but have the complete freedom and personal ownership of the means to decide for themselves whether or not to purchase or not purchase these x-large tissues.

Or if you say to the left, that the beauty of capitalism is such that not only do you have the freedom to simply buy another non-masculine labelled x-large tissue, or better yet have the opportunity to enter the market and sell your own non-masculine labelled x-large tissue and get rich because you believe there is demand in the market for a non-masculine labelled x-large tissue.

You so violently violate their safe-space by asking them to no longer threaten people’s livelihoods by demanding that everyone change according to their whims or be destroyed, and instead take personal responsibility for themselves, as well as by asking them to actually be productive in society and work, or simply focus their energy on issues that actually matter to people living in this broken world… that you become the absolute worst kind of sexist misogynist capitalist pig.

So what will it be Canada? Will we stand for logic and common sense, and encourage each other to be free independent thinkers who will not bow down to the gods of progressivism, such as 3rd-wave feminism, that are lifted up by the outraged leftist mob that now runs rampant in our society without any regard for what they destroy or those they destroy, wherever they are encouraged or allowed to. And instead foster a society in which personal-responsibility, personal liberty, and treating others as you would want to be treated is encouraged and protected, by appropriately responding to these people by asking, do you need some “mansized” tissues for those non-issues?

Or will we submit ourselves to this complete irrationality and continue to watch as the Western world decays as it descends further and further into collective irrationality, chaos, oppression, and darkness, all in the name of social justice?

Until next-time this has been the Sound Off with Corey. Take care, and may God Bless you, your loved ones, and may God continue to Bless, this the free world.